You Mean Nothing

(brightsideofnews.com)

     That image up there represents the population of the world. 7.046 billion.To put that into perspective, the average county population in 2012 was 100,000 people. Every single person you encounter - cashiers, teachers, performers, people next to you in traffic jams - has a life of their own. Every morning they arise and have a set list of things to accomplish, different sources of stress, different people to interact with, and different things to which they can look forward. In the book The Science Of Evil by Simon Baron Cohen, he talks about how empathy disappears when humans objectify other humans, when we see other people as objects in our way rather than people with lives and passions. Take a moment to think of the most important people in the world.

via twittercounter.com  

     These are the three most followed people on twitter, all prominent figures in pop culture, all musicians. Read the descriptions of their twitter profiles. What are they promoting? It's a pretty simple product of the 21st century human equation. Self-promotion and inflated inspiration. There's nothing necessarily wrong with advertising or encouragement, but I feel that the majority of humanity has missed the point of why we exist. 

     The most sold book throughout all history is A Tale Of Two Cities selling more than 200 million copies. It was written in 1859. Surprisingly, after a quick scroll through Wikipedia's page of best-selling books it is one of the oldest, if not the oldest book on the list. My point? We are beginning to erase our own history. Who and what do we remember of people 50 years ago, 100 years ago, 500 years ago? Human fame doesn't last. Our attempts to grind out way to the top and be the best in our field won't last long before a new and improved version of ourselves shows up. Our fifteen minutes of fame would be lucky to last even that long. 

      An article on billboard.com reveals ten artists who have had "breakout" years in 2013. We probably know most if not all of their names, and if not that just further proves what I'm saying. These breakout artists won't be around forever. Even if they turn into the next generation's Blondie, they aren't going to be esteemed much past their 60's. 

     So far I've presented cynical and most likely condescending viewpoints of my opinion on pop culture. I'm well aware of this. I don't believe that the entertainment business and the society in which we live is completely stupid, but I do believe most of its morals are. We are fighting tooth and nail for the possibility at a shot to make our names stand out. Out of seven billion people, what are the chances that one person will make a lasting difference for good? How are we, one individual soul, going show others our insights into life and love and spirituality without controversy and hate? I am very much against assuming I have the answers to many matters in which there is dispute, in this case I know for a fact that the answer has been given to me. 

     We can't make a lasting different. One out of seven billion means nothing eternally. All human effort, matter how well planned or genuinely heartfelt will crumble as an effect of the depravity of man. Fortunately for Christians, we have a omniscient God who has meticulously orchestrated every occurrence in our lives and to infinity and beyond. There are no coincidences in God's universe. 

" I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away." - Ecclesiastes 13:14-15

    Even the most meaningless happenings in our lives have a purpose and that is what gives us eternal fame. In a sermon I heard once that if God was a film, we would be the extras. We don't have to preoccupy ourselves with fretting over our own fame and fortune. There is a insurmountable joy in clinging onto God's everlasting promises and being able to say "I got to be a part of that!". For our little fraction of eternity we have the opportunity to hold fast to God's promises and be part of His plan for the world. Once that's in perspective, wanting to be recognized for out own accomplishments in merely a symptom of the fall - a residual effect of being human. 
      Though we try to "steal the spotlight" from God, He still pours out grace for that. Jesus died for that sin, the sin of an egocentric world. Find joy in your life pointing to God. It's a lifelong process, one that no one has perfected or balanced, but the joy found in the Lord is so much fuller than the joy found in fleeting popularity. Being able to identify our sins and say "that is why Christ died" has such a profound effect because Christ death is what makes communion with God possible. Standing at the foot of the cross and clinging to Christ instead of the alter to ourselves is how we continually die to ourselves and confess our need for a Savior instead of always making ourselves kind of the world.
      When I think about it, if I place myself on the throne with all my insecurities and sin patterns, the world would suck. If I were the ultimate standard the way I often see it in my head, the whole world would be led completely astray. The fact that we have a God who is perfect in every way as the king of the world instead of ourselves is completely humbling and mind-blowing - and we get to hold on to Him. 

3 Life Lessons From 2013

     Consistently after every year of my life for the past four years, I've contemplated the year in its entirety and thought this was a really hard year. But in all seriousness, this year was the first year that stretched me in every way possible and changed my life completely. Today I'm here writing about my experience, a brief overview of the invaluable lessons I've learned. It is by no means written from an expert point of view, neither is it exhaustive, but for my own sake I find it of paramount importance to catalog the numerous things I've been taught by the grace of God.

1. Letting go is NOT quitting. I've never been the sort to quit, I was always the one following through long after others had moved forward. One of my most blaring flaws is my inability to look to the present and future. I'm constantly fixated on the rear view mirror of my life. This year, I have learned (to some extent) that letting go of things I love does not mean I'm giving up. I've learned that sometimes "sticking it out" is not truly what is best for us, but can be detrimental to ourselves. There's a whole blog post on this (right here) but I can say in all certainty that I knew nothing about letting go at the beginning of 2013. Of course, it's still a grueling process, but one that has taught me much. 
2. You are not strong. Honestly, being "strong" and "guarded" is completely overrated. I've learned that by closing myself off and isolating myself from others has not made me into a stronger person. The mullock roaming free on the internet among the inspirational quotes really angers me. Things saying that you can hide all your fears if you face a smile and that sort of thing honestly sicken me. Cutting off relationships as if they were wildflowers to pluck out of the ground is not being strong. This is incredibly difficult for me, because I operated, and sometimes still operate, under this philosophy. Communication is a vital part of relationships, and by cutting ourselves off from other caring people in the name of a cultural standard of strength, we're suffocating the communication. Strength is facing our emotions and fears and speaking out (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). No human life is void of stories, we are living breathing books ready to speak out and tell our stories. What's the point in hiding it?
3. Trusting is much harder than it seems. I would easily identify with someone who has "trust issues". Trust is a skill learned over a lifetime, never completely perfected, and always a challenge. As humans, we a capable of hurting others without much effort at all - it's pretty scary if you think about it. I've been perpetually concerned that if I share my heart with another person, they'll turn around and stab me in the back. In my experience, there's no solution for this. The only way to obtain the trust of others and to learn to trust yourself is to go out on a limb and trust anyway. Finding people to trust in the world is one of the most difficult yet rewarding things I have to find - someone you can trust is a true friend. 

     So these are three of the life lessons I've learned from 2013, it's been filled with tears, laughter, friends, family, and newly forged relationships. It's been unforgettable. 

Irresistible Love

     When running, there comes a point when the exhausted panting and sweating seems to dissipate and a slight surge of energy carries the runner to the finish line - at least for me. On my three mile run today, about halfway through I was at the place of "I'm dying" in the duration of my run. As I turned myself into a cul-de-sac I noticed the mammoth white trash truck and two men in neon vests carrying on with their daily routine.         Before I approached them, I assessed the situation: there was no sidewalk, and I was too far to just turn around and ignore the court. Like the less than intelligent ditsy person I am, I decided to go behind the truck and pray that it wouldn't run me over. Luckily it didn't, but as I passed one of the trash men was in the narrow space in which I had to run. This man had spent his entire day thus far emptying heavy trash cans with a revolting smell in cold weather and dodging blocks of ice, yet his actions were of total kindness and selflessness. He swung his trashcan to his side, and stepped back, halting the routine for a moment. With a smile, he gestured for me - a teenage middle-class "privileged" girl - to pass in front of him. I smiled, said hello, and ran past.
     For the rest of the run I pondered his generous action. There is no way he wanted to move out of the way for me and slow his already wearisome task, yet for some reason unknown to me, he decided to extend a hand of benevolence and let me pass. This got me thinking: That trash man acted like Jesus. 
      I often contemplate the vastness of God's promises for His children. His love is a never-ending well, and I hardly ever reciprocate in a manner worthy of His holiness. God's love is so tremendous that He sacrificed His only perfect Son to die in our place so we could spend eternity in His holy presence. 

"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:8

      God's love is shocking. I think the assumption can be safely made that being abused, spat upon, persecuted, an loathed by His people hardly thrilled Christ. No one is eager for pain. Yet because of the immeasurable love and grace God has for us, Christ became sin who knew no sin (1 Corinthians 5:21). In Matthew 26: 36-46, we can read that Jesus was painfully aware of how difficult His calling was. Yet He prayed that the will of the Father would be done, not His will.
     How often do we pray these words; "God, please _______ if it's your will". How often on a daily basis do we question God's divine plan and decide we know what's best? Too often. Jesus, who had done no wrong in his life, had the temptation to do the same (Hebrews 4:15), yet He realized that God's will was for the best. He willingly let Himself be sacrificed so we could have eternal life.
     For a long time, whenever I thought of God, MY GOD, whose fingers can wrap around the world and who can breathe this earth into existence, who is infinite in our finite lives, and who can hear every word and thought of everyone in the world, my breath was taken away. It still is. This is the same God who sent Jesus to die so we could be with Him. Doesn't that just make you want to scream and jump up and down?! It is awesome. Our God is awesome.
     Whenever I make a meager effort to contemplate God's love, I am overwhelmed by my inadequacy and how I don't deserve one bit of it. There is nothing I can do to deserve God's love. No work or amount of faith will be adequate to thank God for His grace. I can't even begin to try to explain God's mercy - I couldn't even attempt it. Instead, I will leave with a wonderful sermon by Francis Chan entitled "Falling Madly In Love With God", and marvel at the perfection of my Creator.
     I'm so thankful that I saw Jesus through a trash man today.

Giveaway

Just writing a quick little post about a giveaway over on Ophelia's blog. If you love books, especially poetry or fantasy, you're sure to enjoy what they have to offer!

The Bottom Line: Part 1

      Looking up at the sanguine sunset, pinks fading to hues of purple and blue, wispy clouds transforming before your eyes, is a universally stunning sight. It is rare for such a common sight to be so widely recognized as a mesmerizing scene. The sky in its eminence possesses a unique ability to cause individuals busy with life to pause for a moment, however brief, and stare in wonder at the marvelous rainbow of fluid colors and water vapor. The smell of a humid summer's day with just enough wind to keep cool matches the tones of a blushing sky. The crispness of late autumn and winter accentuates the rapidly blackening ceiling of the world. The sky echoes our atmosphere around us. It is one of those things so abstract that it cannot really but described, but must be experienced. The blissful solitude of a peaceful, steadfast sky is haven for an overwrought mind.
      Unfortunately, it goes against nature to simply let things be and breathe in the moment. Most people (myself included at times) have difficulty grasping the recondite forms designed in nature and in life. We want the bottom line, the X marks the spot, the most concrete answer possible to reach our end goal.  The human race is fixated on numbers; weight, clothing size, grade point averages, test scores, prices, calories, friends on Facebook, blood test results, evaluations, time, box office and music billboards, and so much more. Nearly every concept in modern day life can be measured by some number system. What is the appeal of a numbered life? How do we presume to take something as unusual and unique as a human and label every aspect of them with a strict, definite number?
       Although said time and again, the cliche that "life is a mystery" is impeccably true. In our lifelong desire to control what happens to us, as a whole we tend to seek closure for all the ambiguity in life - because it's disconcerting. Slapping a number or label on everything proves us with a sense of accomplishment, a sense that we have "figured it out". Whether or not you are an organized, attentive person, the urge to answer the questions of life for yourself is still stolidly present. There is an obvious error in this judgement that, no matter how reputable the motives are, our ways of "fixing" the problems are consistently faulty. Luckily, we aren't left out to drown in life if we are in communion with the Lord. 

"Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
    but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

22 What a person desires is unfailing love[a];
    better to be poor than a liar.

23 The fear of the Lord leads to life;
    then one rests content, untouched by trouble." - Proverbs 19: 21-23

     Our purpose in life is never to figure things out on our own, but to listen to God's plans for our life. Although it goes against every carnal desire in our souls, the pertinence of abiding by God's plan is the most promising future one can have. 
      The answers thought of by man leave us in more of a rut than in the first place. In this day and age, the popular method of judging character is labeling; goth, jock, geek, flake, weirdo, messed up kid, depressed, outgoing, shy. To the same effect, numbers are used to rate inanimate objects. If we can't understand something (like if we're doing well in school) we stick a number on it and it does that for us. You may have gotten a 100% on a science test and not have retained any information, but at least you got the grade!
      In the beginning, when God spoke the universe into existence, he did not say "Adam will weight 174 pounds, his children will have 100%'s in all their classes, and he will make $100,000 a year". No, this is what the Bible states: 

"Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature." - Genesis 2:7

     Man is not a number, or a label. Man is a living creature formed in the image of God and crafted to his pleasure. Humans are brimming with transgressions against a holy Savior, yet love has been extended. The numbers are barely worth a grain of sand at the shore in comparison to the splendor of the family of God. 
     If the entire world were blind, what would we have to judge? Obviously looks wouldn't add to the equation. If we also could not speak? Communication would die and a new form of gossip would have to be created. The outside casing of ourselves, our performance to the rest of the world, is so finite when we stop and breath in the same life God breathed into Adam (Genesis 2:8). A wonderful, famous quote by C.S. Lewis sums up this point beautifully. 

http://imgur.com/gallery/7O7H7

     Our definition of perfection and excellence is as flawed as the creators of it. Throughout their lives, everyone will receive unwanted labels. All of us will feel the pressure of numbers and their impending importance in our existence. But, there is a great relief from this pressure. 

Via flickr

    No human is capable of perfect love (1 Corinthians 13:4-8), but God is. We serve a mighty king who adamantly rejects these man made labels and signs, boasting our failings to the world and causing dissension among everyone. God's love is label and number free. God cares for our souls and our salvation, not our popularity via social networking and the price of our latest shopping spree. We serve a gracious Lord who assures us that we are infinitely more loved than the number on a scale, grade on a test, or petty label. 

Your Dimples are Important

     I am a person of rituals. Every morning, as I'm sure is not out of the ordinary, I examine my face in the magnifying cosmetic mirror before washing it and meticulously placing on my makeup. After a while, I've grown so accustomed to the sight of my visage that I hardly bat a double-rowed eyelash when gazing upon my tired eyes in the mirror. My reflection is not one I would call shocking. Although I have made the most of the features given to me, I'm not without insecurity by any means. As a detailed oriented person, I scrutinize every detail of myself at nearly every opportunity - which I why I stay away from mirrors as much as possible.
     Occasionally I discover something different about myself, a new freckle, darker dark circles, or eyeliner that refused to budge from the night before that has migrated its way down my face. This time, as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and faked a smile in the mirror (another habitual action, don't judge), I noticed something I seemed to have entirely overlooked for my whole life. I have a dimple. It's on the right side of my face, towards the top of my chin, and if I do say so myself, it's adorable. I could have gone my whole life without knowing that I have this dimple, but if you think about it, we really don't consider our reflections that often.
      To other people with whom we spend a lot of time speaking, they're so used to our faces, the way we crinkle our nose when we don't like something, how our eyebrows shoot up when we're surprised, even easy-to-overlook dimples, that they consider it not little pieces of ourselves - but one of the many variables that compose our appearance on a whole. This one dimple, one that I had never seen in myself, could potentially be the one thing people use to describe me. "Tatiana? Oh yeah, she's the really short girl with brown eyes and a dimple."
     To make you feel entirely unoriginal, here are some statistics about YOU. Yes, you.

     There are approximately 8,000 people named Tatiana (my name) in the United States. 

If 2/23 of them have my same birthday, that means that there about 348 people in the United States named Tatiana with my birthday.

313 of them have some shade of brown hair, and 261 of them have brown eyes

Needless to say, I'm hardly what you could call an original - especially seeing as you, reader, and I, author, share 99.9% of our DNA. 

     

    In a discussion on the TED website, the fascinating subject of whether or not original thoughts are possible is brought to attention. The discussion details the definition of "original thought" and many members of the TED website contribute to the discussion. Though there is no concrete answer to the concept of original thoughts, the article sheds light on the subject in a clear and articulate manner.

      Upon researching all of these statistics and numbers, the probability of running into another you is actually not so far fetched. Oftentimes I find myself wondering how can I make a difference? I am one person. I have approximately 80 years on this earth and over 7 billion people to meet. In short, there is no possible way for one person to make a lasting difference in the world. 

      Getting bogged down with the inadequacy of one's existence is frustratingly simple. Without much quibbling, we can all deduct that a human life can rarely make much of a difference. In every sense of the word, we are plain. Boring. Cliche. What's the purpose in attempting to be an anomaly against this world if everyone is going to forget us anyway? Don't be discouraged, we do not live in futility. 

  Our perception in life is too often like a camera lens. Rather than stepping out from behind the camera, where our awareness is broadened, we favor the comfort of our tunnel vision understanding. We close ourselves off out of fear, and only focus on the minute details of life. The mountains we so often fail to climb would be reduced greatly if our focus shifted from the small details to the big picture. Self-acclamation is a sadly significant part of human nature. Our focus is so narrow minded much of the time that we fail to see the importance of what we are set out to do as Christians. 

       9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. - Philippians 2:9-11

      In the "big picture" are we - creations of the Lord - to be exalted? No. God has exalted Him (Jesus). Jesus is the name above all names. Our accomplishments such as financial stability, climbing the corporate ladder, renowned talent, or being a successful student all pale in comparison to the common goal all Christians have in common. 
     We do no exist to magnify the power of man. The power of man is empty and fleeting. In Revelation is the rise and triumph of humans amplified? Did man have to die on the cross for their own sins? Of our own accord, is man capable of doing good with not ulterior motives? 
     As Christians, we are not working for the glory of self. Though we all falter and fall short (Romans 3:23) our calling is for the Lord. Our commission is to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19). It is not a duty that we plod through life carrying on our shoulders, but a overwhelming blessing and work of God. 
     Our God is omnipotent. He spoke the world into existence and has power over all humanity. His creations and followers are the chosen instruments to carry out His perfect plan. Our distorted, disordered, dysfunctional ideas and judgement have been paid for already so that we may be used as part of the Composer's grand masterpiece. It is truly ineffable. 
     For the next time you find your thoughts led astray to the monotony of life and the pettiness of your existence, think of your job. It's not a job in an office or a home, you aren't relegated to a desk, stage, or computer. This job is the most glorious job imaginable - it can hardly be called inadequate. 

Information from: http://www.photius.com/rankings/languages2.html, "The Thing About Life Is That One Day You'll Be Dead" - David Shields, http://blog.minitab.com/blog/fun-with-statistics/any-chance-we-share-a-birthday, 

Letting Go

    

"Your shadows will always fall behind you if you choose to face the sun." - Shannon L. Alder, Never or Forever

   Letting go; one of those feelings that comes as shock and a loss, a stumbling backwards into the unknown with the disappearance of an irreplaceable being or substance that was so present in one's life. Without a doubt, letting go gracefully is one of the hardest lessons to learn, because neither time nor practice can acclimate a person to the sudden loss of letting go and the necessity to accept it. Letting go is a skill that must be learned and put to use as throughout life situations continually have cause for “stumbling into the unknown”. Whether or not the unknown is better or worse than current situations is a mystery--and that is why letting go is so difficult—there's no guarantee of improved conditions. Letting go doesn't come with a warranty that all the over thinking has been worth it and things will be all right.

     Letting go does not forget the past, it does not write it off into a book of memories left to be unopened for fear of crushing nostalgia. It does not return for a second thought as the completion of letting go is a one time action. It does not consult with your feelings, rather with reason as you assess the best thing in life. It does not forgive you, and does not often provide closure. Letting go slams the door of the past in your face and pushes you down to find your way back up on your own. Letting go is a one way conversation with no responses to answer to, only conclusions to draw on your own. Letting go is sudden and determined, impatient to ease out of a time when things were bleaker and more hopeless. Letting go takes no prisoners, leaves behind only that aftertaste of what was and what could have been. Letting go leaves a world of what if's and conditional arguments within oneself. The fear that accompanies loneliness encompasses the vulnerability of turning off the lights on a previous walk of life.

     Letting go is a clean slate, a blank canvas, a new dawn. It provides a new perspective and a resilient future full of unknowns and possibilities. Letting go frees you from being tied down and afraid. Letting go is the calm after the storm and the rainbow after the rain. It is discovering your wings, finding out that you knew how to fly all along but were just too afraid. It's looking your fears in the face and charging with a rampant intrepidity, releasing the nagging voice in the back of your mind whispering your inadequacies and harnessing the voice of hope that tells you that you don't need the bondage you were in. It's realizing you exist apart from another person, another thing, another idea. It's walking out of a situation and using your intuition and faith to show you where to go.

      Taking a stumble into the dark is terrifying and haunting, the feelings of defeat and valor mix together in a muddy puddle as you collect the remaining pieces of yourself and begin to put them back together. Letting go is looking up from the pit you're in, and deciding that enough is enough. You look around, pick up a rope, and climb. And in that moment when you're fighting for something bigger than your circumstances or emotions, you are victorious and courageous and free. It is believing in something other than the fear you let control your life for too long. Take a step into the unknown, wander through the desert, stumble in the dark, soar across the radiant skies, breathe in the air you live on, and let go.