3 Life Lessons From 2013

     Consistently after every year of my life for the past four years, I've contemplated the year in its entirety and thought this was a really hard year. But in all seriousness, this year was the first year that stretched me in every way possible and changed my life completely. Today I'm here writing about my experience, a brief overview of the invaluable lessons I've learned. It is by no means written from an expert point of view, neither is it exhaustive, but for my own sake I find it of paramount importance to catalog the numerous things I've been taught by the grace of God.

1. Letting go is NOT quitting. I've never been the sort to quit, I was always the one following through long after others had moved forward. One of my most blaring flaws is my inability to look to the present and future. I'm constantly fixated on the rear view mirror of my life. This year, I have learned (to some extent) that letting go of things I love does not mean I'm giving up. I've learned that sometimes "sticking it out" is not truly what is best for us, but can be detrimental to ourselves. There's a whole blog post on this (right here) but I can say in all certainty that I knew nothing about letting go at the beginning of 2013. Of course, it's still a grueling process, but one that has taught me much. 
2. You are not strong. Honestly, being "strong" and "guarded" is completely overrated. I've learned that by closing myself off and isolating myself from others has not made me into a stronger person. The mullock roaming free on the internet among the inspirational quotes really angers me. Things saying that you can hide all your fears if you face a smile and that sort of thing honestly sicken me. Cutting off relationships as if they were wildflowers to pluck out of the ground is not being strong. This is incredibly difficult for me, because I operated, and sometimes still operate, under this philosophy. Communication is a vital part of relationships, and by cutting ourselves off from other caring people in the name of a cultural standard of strength, we're suffocating the communication. Strength is facing our emotions and fears and speaking out (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). No human life is void of stories, we are living breathing books ready to speak out and tell our stories. What's the point in hiding it?
3. Trusting is much harder than it seems. I would easily identify with someone who has "trust issues". Trust is a skill learned over a lifetime, never completely perfected, and always a challenge. As humans, we a capable of hurting others without much effort at all - it's pretty scary if you think about it. I've been perpetually concerned that if I share my heart with another person, they'll turn around and stab me in the back. In my experience, there's no solution for this. The only way to obtain the trust of others and to learn to trust yourself is to go out on a limb and trust anyway. Finding people to trust in the world is one of the most difficult yet rewarding things I have to find - someone you can trust is a true friend. 

     So these are three of the life lessons I've learned from 2013, it's been filled with tears, laughter, friends, family, and newly forged relationships. It's been unforgettable. 

Irresistible Love

     When running, there comes a point when the exhausted panting and sweating seems to dissipate and a slight surge of energy carries the runner to the finish line - at least for me. On my three mile run today, about halfway through I was at the place of "I'm dying" in the duration of my run. As I turned myself into a cul-de-sac I noticed the mammoth white trash truck and two men in neon vests carrying on with their daily routine.         Before I approached them, I assessed the situation: there was no sidewalk, and I was too far to just turn around and ignore the court. Like the less than intelligent ditsy person I am, I decided to go behind the truck and pray that it wouldn't run me over. Luckily it didn't, but as I passed one of the trash men was in the narrow space in which I had to run. This man had spent his entire day thus far emptying heavy trash cans with a revolting smell in cold weather and dodging blocks of ice, yet his actions were of total kindness and selflessness. He swung his trashcan to his side, and stepped back, halting the routine for a moment. With a smile, he gestured for me - a teenage middle-class "privileged" girl - to pass in front of him. I smiled, said hello, and ran past.
     For the rest of the run I pondered his generous action. There is no way he wanted to move out of the way for me and slow his already wearisome task, yet for some reason unknown to me, he decided to extend a hand of benevolence and let me pass. This got me thinking: That trash man acted like Jesus. 
      I often contemplate the vastness of God's promises for His children. His love is a never-ending well, and I hardly ever reciprocate in a manner worthy of His holiness. God's love is so tremendous that He sacrificed His only perfect Son to die in our place so we could spend eternity in His holy presence. 

"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:8

      God's love is shocking. I think the assumption can be safely made that being abused, spat upon, persecuted, an loathed by His people hardly thrilled Christ. No one is eager for pain. Yet because of the immeasurable love and grace God has for us, Christ became sin who knew no sin (1 Corinthians 5:21). In Matthew 26: 36-46, we can read that Jesus was painfully aware of how difficult His calling was. Yet He prayed that the will of the Father would be done, not His will.
     How often do we pray these words; "God, please _______ if it's your will". How often on a daily basis do we question God's divine plan and decide we know what's best? Too often. Jesus, who had done no wrong in his life, had the temptation to do the same (Hebrews 4:15), yet He realized that God's will was for the best. He willingly let Himself be sacrificed so we could have eternal life.
     For a long time, whenever I thought of God, MY GOD, whose fingers can wrap around the world and who can breathe this earth into existence, who is infinite in our finite lives, and who can hear every word and thought of everyone in the world, my breath was taken away. It still is. This is the same God who sent Jesus to die so we could be with Him. Doesn't that just make you want to scream and jump up and down?! It is awesome. Our God is awesome.
     Whenever I make a meager effort to contemplate God's love, I am overwhelmed by my inadequacy and how I don't deserve one bit of it. There is nothing I can do to deserve God's love. No work or amount of faith will be adequate to thank God for His grace. I can't even begin to try to explain God's mercy - I couldn't even attempt it. Instead, I will leave with a wonderful sermon by Francis Chan entitled "Falling Madly In Love With God", and marvel at the perfection of my Creator.
     I'm so thankful that I saw Jesus through a trash man today.

Giveaway

Just writing a quick little post about a giveaway over on Ophelia's blog. If you love books, especially poetry or fantasy, you're sure to enjoy what they have to offer!

The Bottom Line: Part 1

      Looking up at the sanguine sunset, pinks fading to hues of purple and blue, wispy clouds transforming before your eyes, is a universally stunning sight. It is rare for such a common sight to be so widely recognized as a mesmerizing scene. The sky in its eminence possesses a unique ability to cause individuals busy with life to pause for a moment, however brief, and stare in wonder at the marvelous rainbow of fluid colors and water vapor. The smell of a humid summer's day with just enough wind to keep cool matches the tones of a blushing sky. The crispness of late autumn and winter accentuates the rapidly blackening ceiling of the world. The sky echoes our atmosphere around us. It is one of those things so abstract that it cannot really but described, but must be experienced. The blissful solitude of a peaceful, steadfast sky is haven for an overwrought mind.
      Unfortunately, it goes against nature to simply let things be and breathe in the moment. Most people (myself included at times) have difficulty grasping the recondite forms designed in nature and in life. We want the bottom line, the X marks the spot, the most concrete answer possible to reach our end goal.  The human race is fixated on numbers; weight, clothing size, grade point averages, test scores, prices, calories, friends on Facebook, blood test results, evaluations, time, box office and music billboards, and so much more. Nearly every concept in modern day life can be measured by some number system. What is the appeal of a numbered life? How do we presume to take something as unusual and unique as a human and label every aspect of them with a strict, definite number?
       Although said time and again, the cliche that "life is a mystery" is impeccably true. In our lifelong desire to control what happens to us, as a whole we tend to seek closure for all the ambiguity in life - because it's disconcerting. Slapping a number or label on everything proves us with a sense of accomplishment, a sense that we have "figured it out". Whether or not you are an organized, attentive person, the urge to answer the questions of life for yourself is still stolidly present. There is an obvious error in this judgement that, no matter how reputable the motives are, our ways of "fixing" the problems are consistently faulty. Luckily, we aren't left out to drown in life if we are in communion with the Lord. 

"Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
    but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

22 What a person desires is unfailing love[a];
    better to be poor than a liar.

23 The fear of the Lord leads to life;
    then one rests content, untouched by trouble." - Proverbs 19: 21-23

     Our purpose in life is never to figure things out on our own, but to listen to God's plans for our life. Although it goes against every carnal desire in our souls, the pertinence of abiding by God's plan is the most promising future one can have. 
      The answers thought of by man leave us in more of a rut than in the first place. In this day and age, the popular method of judging character is labeling; goth, jock, geek, flake, weirdo, messed up kid, depressed, outgoing, shy. To the same effect, numbers are used to rate inanimate objects. If we can't understand something (like if we're doing well in school) we stick a number on it and it does that for us. You may have gotten a 100% on a science test and not have retained any information, but at least you got the grade!
      In the beginning, when God spoke the universe into existence, he did not say "Adam will weight 174 pounds, his children will have 100%'s in all their classes, and he will make $100,000 a year". No, this is what the Bible states: 

"Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature." - Genesis 2:7

     Man is not a number, or a label. Man is a living creature formed in the image of God and crafted to his pleasure. Humans are brimming with transgressions against a holy Savior, yet love has been extended. The numbers are barely worth a grain of sand at the shore in comparison to the splendor of the family of God. 
     If the entire world were blind, what would we have to judge? Obviously looks wouldn't add to the equation. If we also could not speak? Communication would die and a new form of gossip would have to be created. The outside casing of ourselves, our performance to the rest of the world, is so finite when we stop and breath in the same life God breathed into Adam (Genesis 2:8). A wonderful, famous quote by C.S. Lewis sums up this point beautifully. 

http://imgur.com/gallery/7O7H7

     Our definition of perfection and excellence is as flawed as the creators of it. Throughout their lives, everyone will receive unwanted labels. All of us will feel the pressure of numbers and their impending importance in our existence. But, there is a great relief from this pressure. 

Via flickr

    No human is capable of perfect love (1 Corinthians 13:4-8), but God is. We serve a mighty king who adamantly rejects these man made labels and signs, boasting our failings to the world and causing dissension among everyone. God's love is label and number free. God cares for our souls and our salvation, not our popularity via social networking and the price of our latest shopping spree. We serve a gracious Lord who assures us that we are infinitely more loved than the number on a scale, grade on a test, or petty label.